19 Years Bottled Up

I'm sick of fucking feeling sorry for people. I wish I didn't care. I'm tired of my feelings turning out to be pointless. If they want to do what they want to do, fucking let them. Fucking everything I try to do turns out wrong. I'm sick of listening to problems. No matter how much I care, it doesn't fucking matter. I wish I could just isolate myself and learn. That way I could fucking do what I'm supposed to do without any distractions. My life is so fucking good, but everyone else has so many problems. I wish people I cared about felt the same way I do. It's really frustrating. There are so many beautiful people that have no idea what gifts they are. It fucking pisses me off. I'm sick of being the nice guy that sits back and feels like he missed his chance. I also hate fucking assholes that take advantage of whatever they can get. Or fucking assholes that are dicks to the girls they go with. I'm so mad. They suck. I wish people understood. My brother just quit school, what am I supposed to do but feel sorry for him? He's not in a state where I can be mad at him. My mom is upset because her kids aren't turning out like she wanted. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Be that perfect kid that she really wanted? I'm sorry. I am who I am. That's all there is to it. I wish everything was easy. I wish the ones I loved understood. You may think I'm talking about you, and you might be right. My life may be perfect, but there's a lot of shit I'm feeling right now. Loving is a lot harder than it should be.

I guess I'll go to sleep and try again tomorrow.