Hooked

I sometimes wonder how I can go about every day the way I do. In a matter of not so much caring while still caring so much. It sucks being a wizard, Harry. Spring break needs to get here, even though I don't believe that I will be doing anything that week. It will be a good time to get back on track. Again. Again. Again.

It's funny how things are so obvious to us, yet we refuse to acknowledge them as reality. No, it's not even that. We know that things are how they are, yet we cling to this ridiculous notion that MAYBE something will change. MAYBE tomorrow will be different. Or next week. Or next party. Or next year. Why shouldn't they change? Wouldn't it be better if things went how we wanted them to? As someone who simply wants things to be positive, wouldn't my desires coming true make things a little better? And then every day begins to drag by. Time becomes meaningless as you are simply waiting for something different to happen. I couldn't tell you the difference between today and any day last week. Or the week before that. The thrill is not there. Paprika.

Emotions are mess. That's what gets us. They aren't rational. That's why the smart kids in grade school never had girlfriends. We couldn't figure it out. And now, maybe it's some ridiculous game of cat and mouse with new college tools added. Get drunk, hook up. But once you're drunk, it's not like you are actually with the person. Or what if the next day you realize that the other regrets the decision? But you can't meet someone in a sober environment. Do they make those? But does that mean that we should sacrifice temporary happiness in fear of future disappointment? Or outside disapproval? What does it matter? Grab what's there at the time. No? They're involved. Oh... Hard to tell sometimes. You're involved. Oh... Hard to tell sometimes. What the hell, we're kids! This is it. Fun is over in a year. Life begins in a year. Nothing really matters. Uh oh.

Do what you want. Soon I won't care anymore.

I love getting advice from George Clooney. Things are about to get good. At least for the next two weeks. Life returns. Body massage. Doing laundry. Getting paid. Snowing a little bit. Wasting less time. Getting up. Taking showers. Making food. Eating it. Reading books. Eating it.

You know... I want a dog.

P.S. Dream Last Night quick recap:
Walking to high school with matthew and katie. Forget my backpack on the street way back at the start of the walk. Run back to go get it. Bake sale. Clay asks if I'm going to get a snack. You can only take 1 and it has to have a birthday candle in it. He's wants potato chips. I take a muffin. He takes everything else out of frustration. I take my backpack and go back to school. Walk down stairs, see 1 man and george clooney. Im wearing a button up shirt, but its unbuttoned. The first man says that I should button up my shirt, George Clooney grabs a lower upper button and says "but only to here" I nod and smile, George smirks. I start walking down, look back up and say "I love getting advice from George Clooney. He smirks and I wake up