The Poo Song

I'm sick and dying. And sick of dying. Facebook is bad for twins on their birthday. Other times too.

I've been trying to fall asleep for an hour. The Alex in another universe is getting a good night's sleep right now.

I do some of my best writing on the toilet. This writing is coming from the toilet. It must be some of my best writing.

I've found that I often end up without a shirt on when I poop. I never remember how it happens.

Does this picture make you uncomfortable too?

Intermission... (6:20 AM)

My internet died and it is four hours later. For some reason I felt cut off the instant my internet went out and I could finally fall asleep. Still, I awoke with an awful pain in my stomach. It is my body responding to the internet returning. I need to break away from technology. Back to the toilet.

HEY. I've felt the coldness of my winter. I never thought. It would EVA GOEOOO. I CURSED THE GLOOM THAT SET UPON US. But I love. That I love you so.


Tips for getting a good (8 hour) night sleep by these pros

1. Set a schedule and keep a regular sleep schedule. Go to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time. Do not nap within 8 hours of bedtime.

2. Exercise. Try to exercise for 20-30 minutes a day. Do not exercise within 2 hours of bedime.

3. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol (also big meals 2 hours before bed).

4. Have a relaxing bedtime ritual (aka read sucka)

5. Sleep until sunlight

6. Don't lie in bed awake. Anxiety of not being able to fall asleep makes it worse. Try to avoid sleeping in other places than your bed.

7. Control your room environment and temperature. Try to avoid going to sleep with the television on.


I'm thinking 9:00 is a good time to wake up. All steps toward becoming a real boy again.